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When you’re raising a child who is disabled or has special needs, you live by it, and yet it never seems to include space for you. Professional aspirations start to feel like souvenirs from a past life. But they don’t have to be.
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The calendar never lies. When you’re raising a child who is disabled or has special needs, you live by it, and yet it never seems to include space for you. Professional aspirations start to feel like souvenirs from a past life. But they don’t have to be. I’ve spoken to dozens of parents across the country, and while there’s no manual for the intricate double-life you’re managing, there are paths you can walk that don’t require giving up either side of yourself.
Let’s start here: throw out society’s definition of “productive.” What looks like a slow Tuesday to your coworkers might’ve been the day you managed a meltdown, coordinated six medical appointments, and still delivered your client proposal. It’s okay to define your wins differently. Measuring your output against someone with a 9-to-5 and no caregiving responsibilities is a false metric—stop letting it dictate how successful you feel.
Everyone talks about “having a village,” but not every parent has one—and that’s okay. The trick is to build a micro-grid of support that fits your reality, not someone else’s blueprint. Maybe it’s a retired neighbor who watches your child once a week, or a high schooler who comes over after school to help with basic routines. You don’t need a massive network; you just need a few people who show up when it counts. And don’t sleep on digital communities—they’ve saved many of us at 2 a.m.
You don’t need to hit pause on your life to go back to school—not anymore. Online degree programs have made it possible to chase new professional goals without stepping away from your job or neglecting your family’s needs. For nurses especially, it’s never been easier to deepen your expertise and expand your career options by enrolling in a flexible RN or BSN program that fits into your schedule instead of the other way around. If you’re ready to level up your credentials without sacrificing everything else you’re juggling, take time to research online RN to BSN programs and see what’s possible on your terms.
Parent guilt is its own beast, but when your child has unique needs, the guilt can be paralyzing. You worry that every work email answered is a moment stolen from your child. But guilt is not a compass—it’s a trap. Your child doesn’t need a martyr; they need a parent who feels whole. You can’t build a joyful home if you’re constantly drowning in shame for wanting a sliver of yourself that doesn’t revolve around care.
Yes, daily. No matter how packed your schedule is, you must defend one hour for yourself like it’s a courtroom deposition. This doesn’t need to be extravagant—it could be a walk, journaling in your car, or binge-watching a guilty pleasure while folding laundry. But it has to be just for you. Not for your boss, not for your kid, not for your spouse—just you. This is where you reconnect with the part of you that exists outside of responsibilities.
You don’t need to reach for the same milestones you wanted ten years ago. Maybe success now looks like consulting instead of full-time. Maybe it’s launching your own business to control your hours. Or maybe it’s saying no to promotions that don’t honor your boundaries. You get to redefine ambition on your terms. Life is not a race, and you’re not falling behind—you’re running a marathon on a hill that most people can’t see.
If there’s one thing you should walk away with, it’s this: living in two worlds—caregiver and professional—isn’t a flaw. It’s a rare kind of strength. You’ve learned to adapt, negotiate, prioritize, and empathize on a level most people never will. So give yourself permission to want more. Not because you’re failing as a parent, but because you’re thriving as a whole person.
Discover how Malones Early Learning Center can nurture your child’s love for learning and confidence by visiting Malones ELC today!